Discussing financial matters with your parents can be difficult. You don't want to seem concerned about how much money they might leave you, while they may feel you are interfering in their affairs.

Yet, if you don't discuss these matters now, you may have trouble finding all of your parents' financial records or determining their wishes when you need to take over their finances.

Start discussing financial matters with your parents when they are in their early 60s. Include all immediate family members to prevent future misunderstandings, making sure to cover the following:

• Where are personal records kept? You don't need to know specifics, but should find out where important records are located. Determine where details about insurance policies, investments, deeds, birth and marriage certificates, pension information, bank statements, estate planning documents, credit card information, and outstanding debts are kept.
   
• Who are their advisers? Ask for a list with names, addresses, and phone numbers of all advisers and physicians. Get details about any medical conditions and medications being taken.
   
• What are their monthly income and expenses? This will help you determine whether they have sufficient income to pay bills. If they don't, you may be able to help them change investment selections or find ways to increase their income.
   
• Do they have adequate insurance? Make sure your parents have enough health insurance coverage and have made provisions for long-term-care needs. If they aren't interested in long-term-care insurance but you fear the burden of long-term care may fall on you, you may want to obtain the insurance for them.
   
• Do they have up-to-date estate planning documents? Don't ask for specifics, just make sure documents are in place so their wishes will be carried out. Find out if they have a durable power of attorney and a health care proxy. With a durable power of attorney, they designate someone to control their financial affairs if they become incapacitated.
  
  If your parents are concerned that this person may assume control prematurely, suggest leaving the document with their attorney, who can deliver it to the appropriate person when necessary. A health care proxy delegates health care decisions to a third person when your parent is unable to make those decisions. Usually, this document also outlines procedures to be used to prolong life.
   
• What are their preferences for the future? Find out where your parents would like to live if they're not physically able to live in their current home. Do they want to move in with relatives or live in an assisted-living facility? Discuss in detail what procedures they want performed to prolong life in the event of a terminal illness. Determine their preferences for funeral arrangements.

While these topics are sometimes not easy to discuss, they are important to know in case you need to help your parents with financial matters.